


Autumn Leaves

by zeekars



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Bang Chan is Whipped, Bang Chan-centric, Light Angst, Lowercase, M/M, Minor Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, No Romance, Past Relationship(s), Photographer Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Producer Bang Chan, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Seo Changbin-centric, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:48:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26942401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeekars/pseuds/zeekars
Summary: chan fell in love with his best friend, but his best friend fell for someone else.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is kinda sad and chan shows signs of self-hatred and worthlessness, just a slight warning! also changing fucking steals chans mans sorry bro

autumn leaves fall, landing on the dry dirt of a lonely path. the air is crisp, filling the lungs of millions around. sun rays beam down through the leaves of red, yellow, and orange trees, peaking through each gap. the forest, city, neighborhood grounds all complimented with the beautiful colors of autumn. 

two college students walked together down the lonely path, crunching the leaves beneath them. chatter and the sound of birds singing filled the once silent air. one student a passionate photographer, the other a music producer. so different, yet so similar at the same time. everything was almost perfect in this season, almost. there was just one thing that could complete the perfection of the season, for the music producer. 

the attention of the beautiful photographer would complete it all for him. felix, that was the name of said beautiful photographer. everything about him was heavenly to the music producer, even the details that could be classified as flaws to others. for example how he got nervous easily or had a short temper at times, but it all seemed to fit him perfectly. there were many small things about him that the music producer could talk about all day. the way his freckles covered his cheeks, his laugh, his hands, everything. 

everything about the photographer was beautiful, to him. 

"chan? did you hear me?" asked felix suddenly, bringing the other back to reality. his head was tilted, natural brown hair falling to almost cover his eye. the latter stayed silent for a couple of seconds, then looked away from felix. 

"no, sorry i zoned out for a moment." the music producer, named chan, then replied. his brown eyes stared down at the path ground below him, watching as his shoes would occasionally crush a colorful fallen leaf. he sometimes thought of himself as just a mere fallen leaf. his role in the world already done, now being left to be crushed and soon forgotten about. 

those thoughts would make him feel as though he really did have no purpose, and that he didn't need to be on the earth. while he was there, he was taking up space for someone else. though, he disregarded those thoughts and thanked whoever was above them for letting him live. that was only because he got to be alive to meet the person he adores most, felix. he only continued his time alive to stay beside felix, just for him. 

"oh, well i was talking about how i managed to ask him out." but, the person he adored loved someone else. someone else who wasn't him, and would never be him. "i really can't wait, i hope i don't blow it." 

it was okay though, this meant he got to see felix happy. if felix was happy, then so was chan, even if it was because of someone else. of course, it still hurt, it hurt him a lot deep down. but, he would never let felix know that because if he did then felix would blame himself. chan wanted anything but that to happen. 

he could handle seeing the man he loved with all of his heart fall in love with another if it meant he got to see him happy. it would be worth the pain, every single bit of the pain. 

"that's great!" chan exclaimed, hiding how he truly felt deep down. "i know you'll do great dude, don't sweat it." 

he looked up to take a glance at felix, their eyes then meeting when he did. felix didn't break the eye contact and instead smiled widely at the older male beside him. 

"thank you, actually when we get done with going down this path.." he looked down at the watch on his wrist, "it'll be time for me to meet him." 

felix looked back up from his watch, turning his head to look forward. chan stopped staring at him to the same, taking in the beautiful view of the forest in autumn. 

"he said he'll meet us here to pick me up.. he should be at the end of the path now." felix paused, stopping in his tracks to turn his entire attention to chan. "that means you'll get to meet him!" 

the excitement was clear on the photographer, his smaller hands coming to grab both of chan's. he bounced ever so slightly, his smile the biggest it's been in a while. the latter couldn't help but smile too, how could he not when his best friend was this happy? 

"i'm happy! i can't wait to see how amazing this man who makes my best friend happy is." chan said with a slightly teasing tone, leaning forward to felix to emphasize his words. felix let go of his hands to push his chest some, laughing as he did so. 

"ism sure you'll like him if i like him i'm sure you will too." 

chan wished he could agree with that statement, he did. if it wasn't for his deep feelings for the other, maybe he could truly like the people felix dated. no matter how happy they made him, he always deep down wished he could replace them. although he hated to admit it, chan was already incredibly jealous of this man, even if he hadn't met him yet. 

chan and felix then went back to continue their regular conversation about their classes for the remainder of their walk down the path. it felt almost as though it went by in a blur because before he knew it, Chan found himself walking towards the car of the man Felix was smitten over. 

"changbinnie!" felix called as he knocked on the window of the car, a bright smile tugging at his lips. he then stepped back when the car door opened, revealing a very handsome man. he wasn't the tallest, but his perfect face and body made up for it. 

"changbin, this is my best friend, chan. chan, this is changbin." felix then introduced the two, changbin looking from felix to look at chan. 

"oh, it's nice to meet you chan." changbin then bowed to the other, chan doing the same. as if he couldn't get any more perfect, he had good manners and a wonderful voice. as far as first impressions went, chan could already tell that this man would never hurt felix like his past relationships did. 

it made him happy, but it also meant that there would probably never be another chance for him to win felix's heart ever again. 

"it's nice to meet you too, i'm really happy to meet the man who's made my best friend so happy." chan smiled, making sure he found a way to tease felix. in which he revived a playful hit on the arm from felix, the three of them laughing together after. 

it wasn't long before chan was saying his goodbyes to the two as they climbed back into changbin's car. both disappearing from his sight, now concluding the day chan had with felix. then, changbin drove away from him, taking felix with him. 

that was the day that chan watched the man he loved for 9 years ride away with someone else. never to be his.


	2. Winter Snowflakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changbin found out that his lover was doing something behind his back, leading to their separation. he is distraught afterwards, until one day someone makes him feel okay again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are mentions of alcohol and implied suspicions of rape. don't worry, it's nothing too serious and is very brief. anyway, there isn't a whole lot of romance in this and it's mainly just implied and could honestly be taken as some bromance.

small droplets named snowflakes fall from the sky, landing on the different objects in the city. each one falling from the dull sky above, then landing to only melt and be forgotten. the air is cold, children with their families laughing about how their breath was visible. last season was autumn, the season a certain someone had grown to love. 

changbin had always loved autumn, a special person making it even better 2 years ago. but, the season that comes after.. not so much. the cold had always been a bother for him, winter was always a drag that he wished would end already. 

a long sigh left his chapped lips, escaping into the night air. he watched as his breath was visible for a moment, maybe that was something nice about winter, he supposed. at the current moment, he was leaving the building in which he suffers- well, works. what's the difference though, right? 

everyday working as a songwriter for some new artist sounded to be fun in theory, but once changbin put it into practice... long story short it became tiring quick. he figured just one day he'd be able to move on to a job he'd enjoy more, but this would have to do for now. with heavy and slow steps, changbin made his way to where his car was parked outside of the building. 

slipping into the vehicle, changbin then thought of the soul reason why he enjoyed going home so much. the man he lived with, the man he loved more than anything in the world. work may have been hard, but if it meant he was able to continue to pay for him and his boyfriend to live together, it was worth it. 

pulling out from the parking lot, changbin then began to drive home. the drive home wasn't very long, which he was thankful for, since he just couldn't wait to go to sleep. when he finally was in front of the apartment building, he parked and got out of the car. now making his way to his shared apartment. 

after a journey up an elevator, changbin was finally up on his floor and now was walking to his room. he then unlocked the apartment door, opening it up and closing it behind him once he was inside. normally, when he got home he would call out to felix that he was home but this time.. he heard strange sounds coming from the back of the apartment. 

slowly treading to the bedroom him and felix shared, the sounds became a bit louder. he then forced the bedroom door open, and he saw something that he wished he never had. it felt like the world had completely shattered around him almost immediately once his eyes hit the scene of the room. 

"felix...?" changbin called out, his voice cracking as he welled up with tears. before him was felix on top of another man, in their bed. 

"changbin.. this isn't.." felix started trying to explain himself, getting off of the other man and off of the bed. he started walking towards changbin, but the latter started backing away. 

"no, it's exactly what it looks like," he said in a stern voice, choking back the tears that threatened to fall any moment now. turning his head, changbin made eye contact with the other man that felix brought into their home. 

"binnie.. please let me explain myself-" felix grabbed onto the older's arm, only to be shaken off. changbin turned to look at felix, then back to the unknown homewrecker. he ran over towards the bed, fist up ready to punch the other male. but, felix quickly stopped changbin from doing so, holding onto changbin's waist tightly. 

that's when he broke, changbin couldn't hold back his tears any longer. all at once, the tears and sobs left him and he collapsed onto the bed near the other male. and then, there was a moment of silence between the three of them, no one daring to say a word. until... 

"leave." changbin spoke up, voice small and raspy. "get out of my apartment, felix." he slowly brought himself up off the bed with his arms, wiggling his way out of felix's grasp. 

"what?" felix asked dumbly, looking between changbin and the other male on the bed. he attempted to hold onto changbin again before he was pushed away. "no, changbin please we can fix this." 

without a word, the eldest of the three got up from the bed entirely and didn't dare to look at his (now ex) lover. "you heard me lix." changbin said with an emotionless tone, lifting his hand to wipe away a tear from his cheek. "get out." 

~~

a glass slammed against the bar, now empty for the umpteenth time. a lazy eye watched as the small amount of liquid inside swirled around at the bottom. three weeks ago was when everything had fallen apart for changbin, the night when he found felix cheating on him. 

he couldn't stop thinking about it all this time, every night he found himself at a nearby bar. some nights he would be stumbling back home, only to go back to an empty apartment, an empty bed, and a broken heart still. this very night he knew he started to drink too much when everything started to blur, and when he asked for another round, the bartender asked him if he was sure. 

it wasn't the first time it had happened. 

"changbin?" an unfamiliar masculine voice called his name, causing him to turn in the direction of the voice. his eyes were almost quite assaulted by this man, it's like an angel had approached him. but, he then recognized it as felix's friend that he met a couple of years back. maybe it was just the alcohol making him desperate, he thought. 

"chan..?" asked changbin, the name coming out slow and slurred. even though, the male, named chan smiled at him. chan sat down in the vacant seat beside changbin, resting his arms on the bar. 

"yeah, what brings you here?" chan asked, moving his hand to pull the empty glass from changbin. though he didn't want to believe it, changbin thought maybe that was for the best. 

"i could ask you the same thing.." slurred changbin, resting his head on his arms on the top of the bar. he looked over at chan with lazy eyes, trying to keep him in focus in his eyes. chan didn't answer at first, his eyes traveling to look down at the empty glass he had taken from changbin earlier. 

"we should get you home. you don't look so good man." chan finally spoke, avoiding the question altogether. he put his arm onto changbin's waist, slinging changbin's arm around his shoulder, and pulled him up from the chair. "did you drive here?" 

slowly, changbin lifted his head to look at chan and shook his head. then, with the help of chan supporting him, he walked out of the bar. "chan.. i don't want to go home, i hate sleeping alone." he spoke up, his voice starting to crack as he was about to cry for the third time that night. 

he didn't know when it happened, but changbin had blackened out that night. he couldn't remember much but the subtle feeling of being inside a moving vehicle. morning came quickly, the room he woke up to wasn't one that changbin recognized at all. also, the warmth of someone was wrapped around him and he had no idea where he was. 

slowly, changbin looked over to the person that he.. was currently cuddling with and then he knew where he was. it didn't take him very long for him to recognize the male as felix's best friend, chan. suddenly, he felt incredibly relieved and much safer now that he knew who it was. although he first assumed it, he knew nothing bad had happened the night before. 

hesitantly, changbin pulled the older male closer to him, resting his face into his chest. twenty-one nights, that's how many nights he had been sleeping alone in his empty apartment. it felt nice, it felt incredibly nice to be in the arms of someone else again, even if it was just three weeks ago that he had last been this close with someone. 

"changbin? are you awake?" chan then spoke, scaring changbin slightly. his hand slowly traveled up from his spot on changbin's waist to pet his hair gently. "you cried so much last night, i don't think you remember it though. you told me everything, and i feel so awful for what happened to you." 

there was a moment of silence where chan didn't say anything, his hand still moving gently as he played with changbin's hair. the silence wasn't awkward, it was comfortable and welcomed. even though chan didn't know it, changbin enjoyed the way chan was treating him. deep down, he wondered why felix wouldn't have fallen for chan instead. 

"don't worry though, i'll take care of you." chan then continued, resting his head against changbin's. "well, that's only if you want me to." he laughed quietly at himself, stopping quickly so he didn't 'wake up' changbin. 

"i want you to." changbin spoke up in a small voice, throat still rough from all of the crying he did the night before. he moved his head from chan's chest so that he could look at the older man, a small smile on his face. "thank you." 

chan looked at changbin, a warm smile on his face when they made eye contact. it was a nice feeling to be with chan, but deep down changbin couldn't help but feel as though it was wrong. his ex's best friend? well, he didn't know if felix and chan were still friends. throughout his and felix's relationship, he had never heard of chan once. 

"you don't have to thank me, i don't want to see you upset." chan replied quietly, hesitantly placing a gentle kiss to the crown of changbin's head before pulling him close once again. that's when changbin was able to accept it, that he could move on and find happiness within a different relationship. 

and then he decided, maybe winter wasn't so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not a big chanlix shipper but I thought i'd write this cause why not? there is a possibility i'll write a part two but i'm not sure.


End file.
